By Brian McGrory
Now that Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on, deep breath here, abortion rights, gay rights, gun control, immigration policy, and campaign finance reform, what's left to reverse? Maybe this:
July 20, 2007
DES MOINES -- Trailing by double-digit margins in the polls to thrice-married Rudolph Giuliani and twice-married John McCain, presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced yesterday that he was seeking a divorce from his longtime wife, Ann.
"Where's my sweetheart?" Romney asked at the beginning of a speech to an overflowing crowd of supporters in this, the first caucus state. "Come on up here, Ann."
When Ann Romney arrived on stage, Romney said, "Can you believe we've been married 38 years?"
Then he added: "That's long enough. Tomorrow, I'm filing for divorce."
Leaving the podium at the end of the event, Romney was heard to tell an aide, "Let's see which way the divorcee vote breaks now."
Sept. 30, 2007
GREENVILLE, S.C. -- With the public rallying around Rudy Giuliani in his public estrangement from his son, Mitt Romney called a press conference to announce that he had severed all ties to his five boys.
Asked why, Romney glanced quizzically at an aide standing in the wings, then told the mob of reporters, "Um, because."
When pressed on what had always appeared to be his closeness to his sons, Romney responded, "Our relationship has evolved."
Dec. 5, 2007
MANCHESTER, N.H. -- Presidential candidate Mitt Romney denied ever being governor of Massachusetts, telling supporters at a private fund-raiser: "Check the records. I was never there."
Jan. 20, 2008
CONCORD, N.H. -- Bested by John McCain in the first-in-the-nation primary here, Mitt Romney arrived at a press conference with the use of a walker and the aid of a healthcare worker and announced, "I'm not as young as I used to be."
Jan. 28, 2008
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. -- Fading presidential candidate Mitt Romney got rip-roaring drunk at a local Hooters on the eve of the pivotal South Carolina primary.
Later that night, Romney appeared before reporters while gulping a Bud longneck and puffing on an unfiltered Pall Mall and announced: "I love NASCAR racing. The only reason I'm running for president is to make it an Olympic sport."
Told by a member of the news media that the president has no authority over the Olympics, Romney responded, "Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."
Feb. 1, 2008
NEW YORK -- Former governor Mitt Romney, whose once bright political star has faded into a haze of contorted issue positions, cheap booze, loose women, and profanity-laced speeches, announced that he is converting from Mormonism to Judaism.
"I am, at heart, a Jewish man," Romney said, several days ahead of the critical New York primary. The proclamation came one day after he told a small crowd of yogis in California that he was forgoing his Mormon beliefs to pursue Eastern spirituality.
Feb. 6, 2008
BOSTON -- Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney withdrew from the presidential race with a rousing speech declaring his respect for gays as well as straights, his belief that abortion laws should remain unchanged, his disdain for guns that plague urban centers, and his tolerance for struggling immigrants who seek a better life on American shores.
Amid euphoric applause from a swelling crowd that included his wife and sons, Romney was asked why he didn't voice these beliefs during his failed campaign.
"It never occurred to me that people might like me for who I am," he said.